A Letter to My Brother
My Dearest Brother,
November 27th is your birthday. I always call to make sure you are enjoying your favorite chocolate cake and playing cards with the new decks I sent, your always-requested present. But you passed away a month ago, so the cake was never baked, and the cards were never sent.
As your older sister
As your older sister, I was part of each and every one of the numerous and deep struggles you tried so hard to resolve. And they may have pained me even more than they did you. It was gut-wrenching to try to help you and see nothing change for the better. All I can hope is that you felt my efforts, and those of Mom and others, and it’s what kept you going for so long.
I choose to remember the fun that came our way. When I couldn’t stomach the tough meat mom had to serve and slipped pieces under the table for our dog, Butcher—you “caught me.” To keep the teasing going, I had to pay you half of my allowance for weeks to keep you quiet. Then there were the times we hid each other’s candy and ate it “under cover” into the night. There were giggles when we banged on the bedroom wall so Dad would kiss us a second time.
Your upbeat but understated take on life is a treasure. You found small things that brought me love, laughter, and humor. You called Mom’s soft-petaled, multi-colored Iris flowers “smile flowers,” dog treats hidden under a sofa pillow “a jump to exercise,” and cats far and wide were named “Here Cat.” They came running every time.
The unhappy parts of yourself are gone forever. Now, you have perfect peace. And joy.
Love always,
Your Sister
—Janice Jensen