Loss Shouldn’t Limit Who You Become
May 27, 2024
The most tragic event of my life, the drowning of my nine-year-old son, Brian, consumed my body, mind, and heart.
I needed to grieve properly but find a way to heal; otherwise, I would be of no use to myself, my family, or others who needed help. My immediate mission was to support my daughter and husband on their healing journeys. I would push through the facts and emotions of the tragedy and grieve with the purpose of finding peace and joy again.
Grief is personal…
When I finally understood that a loss timeline is personal, I relaxed a bit. Did I believe it would take me decades to fully embrace peace and love again? Absolutely not! But my remotest thinking hadn’t prepared me for the complications and time needed to process grief.
My memoir, “One Ripple at a Time: A Mother’s Story of Life After Loss,” describes my journey. I crossed through more and more ripples as time went on. With each new thought or venture, I paired something fun with something challenging, or I found a happy moment in something hard. When I sorted through Brian’s clothes to donate, I read one of his favorite books, “Henry and Beezus” by Beverly Cleary.
“I need to stuff it”
Too often, I got caught up in rushing my acceptance and healing process. The pain persisted and sometimes caused me to say, “I need to stuff it,” and get on with life. I tried that a few times, and when the hurt spiraled, I stopped and reentered the stream to find one small ripple I could navigate through and count my blessings.
Writing the book has been the final step leading to acceptance, forgiveness, and validation of myself and others. My goal: to invite others suffering loss into my life to experience hope and peace.
Counting blessings
I kept track of blessings, even tiny moments of understanding and joy, and felt that positive impact build in my brain and heart. I confirmed that I could be and honor my best new self. The belief propelled me forward to a greater understanding of who I was and wanted to become, what it would really take to heal, and how to access my most effective help.
My ideals for life expanded and became fully positive-focused. Yes, setbacks came and will continue to come. That’s part of living, but the more small and large successes I’ve built, the stronger my drive to increase their frequency and intensity.
For you:
To those who have also suffered loss and grief, I share my greatest sympathy, and hope for your healing in the way that works best for you. In my blog, I will share ideas that I found worked for me, in the belief that you may also find these insights helpful.
The ability to embrace life and joy again has been worth every challenge.
With understanding and great admiration for each of you who are committed to healing your body, mind, and heart, I can’t wait to hear about your tiny, small, and large victories. “One Ripple at a Time” works!
—Janice Jensen